WOW!!! I can't believe how time has flown by. I say this because, this coming Friday, my husband and I will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. It's crazy! I remember just meeting him. As promised, I thought it would be a great idea to let our followers in on our relationship. Because this blog is catered specifically to health and wellness, "Relationships" is a great topic to speak about as it is important to keep and maintain healthy relationships. I will start by answering at least 10 of the many questions that unmarried couples have asked us over the years. But, keep in mind that all relationships are CUSTOMED.
1. How did you guys meet?
I met Kevin at the "Good Guys" near the Beverly Center when I was only 19 years old. I worked there part time in the evening after my second job. I thought he was VERY attractive and made conversation, followed by a date and the rest was history.
2. How long did you all date before getting married?
WOW!! Because, we were young, we dated for 8 years before getting married
3. How did he propose?
One Saturday as I was cleaning his house, he called me into the room and popped the question, with a ring. I was completely surprised.
4. How do you deal with the ups and downs within marriage?
Only the strong survives but we keep God as the focal point within our marriage and with raising our kids. We have had many bad times and also many exciting times. I think that during the bad times within our relationship, it has really shaped and molded us collectively as build us up individually. Yes, we have had disagreements, as with any relationships but I think that we have learned to understand each others perspective on a situation. We have also weighed the good against the bad and the good has always outweighed the bad.
5. What things do you do to keep things exciting and not dull?
Every Wednesday, we go out for "Date Night" this is an exciting time for me and not so much for him as I love to go to different places, restaurants, etc. He's not that fond of going out BUT he compromises and I do the same. He LOVES to go to the movies and I hate movies, as I will quickly fall asleep. So basically, he'll take me to eat sushi (he cant stand fish) and I will then go to the movies. It's an even trade off. All in all date night has been an exciting event within our marriage. I get a chance to get dolled up, it's an opportunity for us to talk about things going on with his job, my business and our kids, and its just a great change in pace of the daily grind. Furthermore, some date nights don't necessarily have to be an outing. One night, we put the kids to bed, made a picnic in our room and enjoyed ourselves. It's the time that counts.
6. How did you know that he was the one?
Kevin is VERY ambitious. I forgot to mention in the previous question about how we met, that he did not want a relationship with me unless I was in college. O, BOY!!! Can you say "REJECTION". I had NEVER got rejected before but I took the challenge and went back to school after 5 years of being out. I fell on my face many times in doing so. I received horrible grades, etc. He would tutor me every night. He was going to Cal State University, Northridge and I was going to Pierce College. Late nights were the norm for both he and I as we were both in school. I believe that it was then that knew he was the one. He shaped me and encouraged me to go back to school. Trust me, I did not have "school" on the brain at the time. I was young and daring. Now that I look back, I was a "HOT MESS!" LOL!!!......Thank you Jesus for sending Kevin my way. I later transferred and got my Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration with an emphasis in Human Resources. He finished before I did with his Masters degree in Electrical Engineering and I want to go back to get my Masters Degree in Business.
7. How do you manage your job, kids, business and marriage?
We manage to do all of these things with the help of my wonderful mother. She has helped us TREMENDOUSLY! Of course, being parents is a job in itself, but trying to build your business, all will maintaining the kids, and keeping the household up to par can be overwhelming. We've managed to get everything done and still have a life with each other thanks to mommy. She is AMAZING!!! It is so important to have support and we are ever so grateful for it.
8. How do you manage financials as most marriages fail because of such?
I'm a very frugal girl and was taught early on how to be by my mother. My husband on the other hand, enjoys nice things. Don't get me wrong I do too. It's just that I know how to cut back. However, he has made a great analogy by saying that I tend to buy things at a cheaper price but a lot of it when I could have just bought the real deal for the same amount of money. So, it's quality over quantity. On the serious side of things, we have learned how to be a team. We communicate to on another when things are looking foggy, and we set out goals to make things happen. Financially, we have experienced both the highs and lows but I have never once decided to leave based upon financial situations. Money comes and money goes and I have never seen ANYONE take money with them when they pass away.
9. Most people would say, the first 5 years of marriage are crucial as its the hardest? What do you say?
I would agree. After our marriage, it was pure bliss. Everything was NEW, FRESH and exciting. I believe that once the newness wore off, reality hit. Yes, I love my husband but I think that reality hit when I realized that we would be together for the rest of our lives. Being that I was young, understanding each other wants, needs and behaviors was trying at times. Communication was choppy as well. After we had kids, it took on a whole different shape. Not to mention that our kids are just 2 years apart. The stress level was HIGH! O, and did I mention that I was still in school at the time too? After the 5 year mark, we begin to understand each other better, while being receptive to each others needs. "Compromising" and "Sacrificing" are two crucial words in a marriage. Now that our kids are older and we are a lil seasoned in marriage, we have weathered the storm, but that's not to say that we won't have more things to go thru in the future.
10. What advice would you give a couple who is looking to get married?
Don't force it, know when you are ready and make sure that you are committed to it. Communicate with one another. Let each other know what it is that you like and dislike. Compliment one another. Always, always date. Continue to do the same things that you did when you guys first met. Lastly, and above all keep GOD first!!!
As mentioned before, each relationship is customized to your wants and needs. It must be beneficial for both parties and not just be one sided. The word "Relationship" is not only just for those who are dating or married. It goes further into our lives on a daily basis. It's always great to build relationships but its important to maintain them.